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artofmulata

i`m your puppet now…

Category Archives: a worsening illness

it’s really hard to write any more about this. the theft has been traumatic. i actually started crying the other night. and i get panicked if i’m in the art space for too long, convinced that the thieves are back, running amuck, while i’m there. it’s absolutely horrible at times.

i’ve been talking to everyone about it. and all my friends, you, have been so very supportive. and i couldn’t ask for better friends. thank you.

the only advice i’ve been getting is to move on and how to do so. and i am taking that advice. i’ve made the move to do something i’ve been wanting to do for a long time and that is making my first film. i mentioned that before, i know, but i’ve actually set a date for shooting. july 27th. it’s the most exciting and frightening thing i’ve done in a long time. even more than chasing down that lovely woman in korea last year for a two month date to europe and africa. well, maybe not that scary…

last year i decided that i wanted to make the move to photography. and secretly i had decided i also wanted to get into film making. photography was no problem, but stepping into motion pictures? that was tough. no equipment. no training. no connections. how to start?

luckily it just fell into my lap. like so many other wonderful things and opportunities. dk pan just looked at me one day and said, “why don’t you make a movie? you can use my camera.” jesus, dk, are you ever going to stop accidentally upgrading my life? thank you!

so i’m working on it. and it’ll debut in august. i’ll let everyone know the details of the showing and you can all watch me whimper and freak out in public. and if you have any comments i will be open to them. scared, but open.

turn it on.

since i’ve been through so much in the last week i have barely been taking pictures. it’s just too depressing. my biggest decision has been whether to get a new laptop or buy a smart, new camera. at this time i’m thinking of a camera; the canon rebel series comes highly recommended. and now that i doing a worktrade with the photo center northwest it seems like a great idea.

maybe the transition into a new field of operation for me, from dancer/musician/performer, will actually occur. i hope so. i’d like to think that all this work in other fields will translate. that my work in the other genres will be beneficial to my new eye. and i have ideas. just wait. you’ll see. and hopefully i’ll continue to keep you amused so you’ll keep inviting me to dinner and drinks. thanks for the dinner and drinks!

some old shots to keep you entertained. enjoy:

a crumbling building in cheunchon, south korea

a crumbling building in cheunchon, south korea
working on an old dance theater piece with anna b as the mummy
working on an old dance theater piece with anna b as the mummy
a mobile sound device in japan

a mobile sound device in japan

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I’m trying to hold a formidable countenance in the face of a blow from a completely unexpected corner.

earlier today my studio was broken into.
the thieves were bold; they absconded in broad daylight with my last half year of work.
on a crowded street and no one saw them.

i was at work at my new job in the pike place market.
it was kind of sad to be at work while pride was happening in the streets above me,
but i saw it as an opportunity to continue strategising my further entry into the art world.

the phone rang a little after 1 and it was my old cohort, ___.

pol, j just got to the studio and  he’s freaking out.
someone’s broken into the space and all his art supplies are gone.
the violated space

oh no. oh no. this can’t be real.
i was convinced that it had to be a mistake.
but it wasn’t. it isn’t.
on the phone with my fellow studio dwellers i had someone survey my space for my laptop.
gone.

i didn’t feel sick. i felt relieved.
i had backed up everything only days ago to an external harddrive.
i could lose one box secure in the knowledge that another would save me.

the computer is just a palette knife.
i didn’t want to lose the painting.
i consoled myself thinking of how smart i was to have backed up all my new photo essays and videos, my latest writings.
i’d lost a lot of digital media in the past and i had bought the drive to specifically avoid that scenario ever again. i even kept the drive in an obscure location away from the laptop to prevent someone from grabbing them both.

i couldn’t guess that my own personal thieves would be so meticulous as to destroy my rooms in their search for valuable cargo.

arriving at the space, i went straight to recover the drive.
i’d take it to a friend’s to leave for safe keeping until we could further secure the place.
but i opened the door to my rooms and realized that wasn’t going to happen.
the motherfuckers had tossed my things every which way.
my violated space 2

my books were dumped on the floor. except for my noboyushi araki volumes; they were gone.
favorite sweat shirt: gone.
two laptops: gone.
new audio inbox for making digital noise: gone.

but the only thing that mattered was that the back up drive should be there.
and you can already see the arc of this tale so you know where this this is going.

today i lost something i can never replace.
two different photo essays on strange objects of everydayness from korea, japan and the states.
4 different sets of nudes i had planned to publish over the next year as a series of handmade books.
my first forays into video art. about 7 near completed pieces.
and a lot of writing. a lot of writing.

i just felt sort of null.
as if a part of me was gone forever.

i got dumped earlier this year by the person who might have been the culmination of every desire i have.
and that nauseous sensation of despair i felt that night is approximately similar to what i am feeling now.
and it makes sense: all my approaches to my own work come from my confrontations with love and sex.
so now i am impotent and heartworn.
and some one has breeched my area.

well, thank god for booze.
i am drinking the first of what might be many beers and soon i will go to a secret convocation of seattle poets to gaze through a telescope at heavenly wonders.
and apparently we will be requested to read a lot of verse of a cosmologically significant nature.

sounds good.
my whole life just dropped into the sky.
i could use a fluid tongue.

perhaps the only way that this can be viewed without risking personal destruction is as a meditation on moving on. not that that is an easy choice. i could just as happily drink myself into oblivion over it. but i think i’ll have to find a more positive approach to survival.

you know, i wish i could i drop some crazy photos into this post that have next to nothing to do with the text, but the lousy creeps also took my camera cable.

ah, pathos. and i am not even angry at the thieves. just hurt. really quite hurt.

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life is never easy.

but sometimes, if you find love, it’s not so bad…

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make a world map

make it giant in its scale

black out the U.S. with long, thick black bars

hang everywhere

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video as object/video projected on objects.
space: 911 media arts, seattle
Exhibition Hours: Monday through Friday 12pm – 6pm
Saturdays 1pm. – 6pm

i was told that the purpose of this show was to explore what happens when you pit the sculptural versus the video-al. most of the pieces involve inserting the video as object into some familiar territory: a box, a case, a frame. okay. that’s nice. i would definitely want to put tina aufiero’s suitcase with reclining swan into a nice room in my future house. it’s a lovely structure and doubles as a music box.

this obviously isn’t a new concept, but it was fun to see what curator steven vroom came up with…

curator: steven vroom.

Curator, Steven Vroom

obvious is the work of seattle art historian, steven vroom. vroom’s the art critic for the capitol hill news and has been about the business of art for the past 12 years here in seattle. i never bothered to ask him where he was before that so please don’t ask me. he did mention that he’d taught at the art institute downtown. i recognize him as one of the nice guys (along with artist joe gray) who i always bump into on the infrequent moments i drop by my friend wylie bush’s Joe Bar cafe across from the harvard exit cinema…
a catalogue for the show can be found as an mp3 podcast at
vroomjournal.com

my reaction to the show was amazement. if for no other reason than that it is all about the surface of things. there were some nice jokes, artistic punch lines (the tony weathers piece) and some works took on a certain elevation of interest due to the technical wizardry behind them (joseph gray’s supercube). but over all it was just pleasant to not have to think too deeply at any point.

but then again maybe i was supposed to ponder a little deeper. for example, caroline kapp has a piece in here called, ‘pivot point.’ it’s a couple of fence posts standing side by side. kapp has projected images of braided rope hanging down the length of the posts. and that’s it. the ropes twist and turn. they hang out. it’s cute.

when talking to vroom about it i asked if the posts were the twin towers and the ropes us, america, at the end of our tether, hanging by a thread.

“nope,” he said, “the ropes are hanging from an imaginary pivot above the posts. they dangle from it…” just use your imagination to imagine that pivot up there while the ephemeral rope turns on a breeze that no one will ever feel. then i began to imagine an imaginary noose, but that’s because i’m black and black people think like that. especially all of us high yellow black men. when the revolution comes everyone will have some grudge ancienne to take out on our genetics.

there’s a good reason why some of us aren’t fit to be critics; like my old pal roland barthes, some of us see what isn’t there. we long to murder the author. we feel no shame in our over conjecture. we wonder often, “well, if you’re so goddamn smart why didn’t you at least see how deep this life is, melville?”

but enough about the headaches of the strange and the socially misaligned. it’s memorial day weekend and i have spent the last few days spewing depressed bile on the heads of the revelers at folklife. and wanting to kill myself because american festival culture is so torturously bland and thus an appropriate encapsulation, insinuation, of what i hate about this white wash of a country. i cannot wait until this beast swallows itself and we get back to parading the heads of saints on poles and bring back the orgiastic fertility rites that make life abroad so desirable.

artists: casey cahoy ‘video in flight’ 2002

casey cahoy, \
a violin case with an optical insert. not working at opening, but a lovely presentation.

tina aufiero ‘swansonata’ 2002

tina aufiero, \'swansonata\' 2002
suitcase with a small video monitor inserted into the upper panel. just a video of a swan sitting in the grass being a swan. and some beethoven playing (‘moonlight sonata’). i daresay you could call it a ‘swoonbox’ it’s so damn pretty.

tony weathers ‘a failed bid for clemency’ 2008

video picture frame. blinking eyes that dilate when an exterior light turns on. a synchronized automation. steve vroom, “it’s like when you look into a refrigerator.” blink. blink. blink.

joseph gray\'s real world/no world cube

joseph gray ‘cube etude 1.0’ 2008

2-channel generative video of a cube projected onto an actual cube.

“i made a texture map of a cube. it’s projected on to a real cube.” some real time video of the cube and it’s environment is projected on to a couple of the cube’s faces. produces an effect of infinite regression. this is also a technical exploration on gray’s part; check out his site for more details.

the twin towers

caroline kapp ‘pivot point’ 2008

two tall white fence posts have images of ropes twisting and turning from an imaginary pivot point.

and there you have it. the opening was nice. a small number of very inquisitive seattleites moving through the space. people on the back porch smoking and drinking beer. some yummy hummus and veggies for us to nibble on.

i bumped into old friends and talked to some strangers and it did nothing to change my mind about this wretched country. i still feel that this place doesn’t give the arts their just due. if they only knew what an indicator a lack of arts funding is to the health of a culture. just as the dissapearance of frogs and honey bees points towards the collapse of the ecosystem or the low album sales of madvillain as opposed to mariah shows how corrupt our political process is and how our institutions of education are in decline.

steven vroom has a sober documentation of his show on his vroomjournal site. you can look at that to see how an art historian posts notice. i found it helpful. i also find shoju, kirin, and make out sessions at the ocean side helpful if at times inappropriate to a deeper analysis of the more intellectually qualitative aspects of our lives. but i’d rather have them and art than have one without the other. and cigarettes. god i love to smoke at art openings…

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what is wrong with my head?

i’m not really going to look too closely at my psyche to examine this sensation, but i was just tickled by this poster i saw yesterday:

a unintentional soliloquy...

i am not afraid of porn, punks or pabst; i had two of them just last night.

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because it’s spring so it’s time to get busy…

(if you are catching this from a feed you might have to go to the site to see the accompanying video… -pol)

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